Insecurely Confident

I have been thinking a lot about confidence lately.

What's the difference between cocky and confident?
Is cockiness really just a mask for insecurity?
How do we go from being unsure to totally killing it?

What's the catalyst for that Ah ha! moment when you think to yourself, "I can totally do this. No doubt... Okay, maybe a little doubt, but that's only because I'm human and therefore not perfect."

Fair warning: When I've been thinking about a topic for awhile, I have a tendency to ramble on and on about it, so I'll try and keep this succinct.

Let's do a little case study shall we?

Confidence in my abilities as a dancer was derived from the fact that:

• My instructors put me in the front of formations
• I had multiple solos
• I placed in the Top 10 at a dance competition for one of those solos
• I rehearsed 15 hours a week and worked one-on-one with my tap instructor during the summers
• I stepped on my own foot (klutz) and fell flat on my booty during a dance competition, but I immediately got back up and smiled even bigger than before for the remainder of the routine. Sidenote: we won first place, even in spite of my clumsiness
• I auditioned and earned a spot in the dance department at OCU
• After working with the choreographer for a summer theatre in North Carolina for one season, I was asked to come back the following two years
• I attended a Rockette workshop and one of the instructors pulled me aside to say that she thought I'd make an excellent line captain (I thought I was going to faint and cry and squeal and hug her all at once... needless to say, it was a major confidence boost)
• I was Annie in our studio's production of "Annie"

Now let's take those specific examples and break them out to general ideas. 

Confidence is a result of:

• Others believing in you
• Words of affirmation
• Receiving awards & recognition
• Others trusting you to do a good job
• Hard work, practice, and persistence
• Failing and trying again

I'm confident in my ability to plan a successful event, to run a half-marathon, to be a loyal friend, to get a little bit crafty, and to bake a bomb-dot-com raspberry & peach cobbler. 

I'm becoming insecurely confident in my ability to use Illustrator well, to be a decent calligrapher, and to run three half-marathons this fall - but dang it, I'm going to try!

I'm less confident in my ability to keep a plant alive, to sing in front of a group, or to speak Spanish. But you know what? That's perfectly okay!

I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who believe in me, encourage me, push me to be better, and pick me up when I fall - literally and figuratively.

Confidence takes time, nurturing, and practice. Here's to confidently going in the direction of your dreams, your passions, your hobbies -- your life! 

xoxo, E