Push It, Push It Real Good

Disclaimer: this post went in a direction that I had not planned... so if you're here for pictures of a totally awesome event, jump to the end of the post!

Confession: I struggle with comparing myself to others.

Do you do that? How many of you do that? How long have you done that? I seem to do it all the time... Do you think that's ok? Do you worry about it too?

(Hoping you caught what I just did there...)

But in all seriousness, I have always focused far too much on how I measure up. Maybe it's the nature of having been a dancer all my life. We spend hours in front of the mirror comparing our movements (and our bodies - but that's another post for another time - or never) to the movements of the person next to us. The whole goal is to match what the choreographer does, exactly how they do it, with little-to-no deviations.

So, one day I got a message on Twitter from Todd asking if I knew of any conflicts for October 3rd. He was putting together an event for the city's "dream pushers, culture makers and critic ignorers." When I said I couldn't think of any conflicts, he replied "thanks! well you're definitely invited." You guys, I couldn't stop the very first thought that ran across my mind: what an incredibly nice, thoughtful, amazing, etc. pity invite. (Todd, if you're reading, don't be offended!)

I mean, let's be honest, there's no way I was "qualified" to be invited - much less attend or have anything in common with these movers and shakers. There it was again - comparison.

After talking to a friend who had a similar conversation with Todd - and funny enough, a similar reaction to mine - we both said, "This is going to be an amazing party. There's no way we're missing it!"

So there I was - feeling pretty in love with my city after the grand opening of Dutch - and I was off to Push >> OKC. Thank the Lord I heard The Spy playing as I approached The Guardian building. "Whew, Ferr is here. Okay, at least I'll know one person that I can talk to." (Am I the only one who worries about being the person at a party who just stands there and doesn't have anything to contribute to the conversation?)

As soon as I entered the building, I was greeted by the faces of a handful of friends ::cue sigh of relief::

The rest of the night was magical - not only is Todd's space gorgeous - exactly what I imagined the space would look like of someone with his talent and passion - but there were so many friends, and people I've worked with, there that night.

Wait... maybe I am qualified to be here...

I think of myself as a humble, confident person. I know that I produce good work and that people enjoy working with me - but I tend to make self-deprecating comments - or at the very least, minimize my talent.

Example: In a small group of introductions at Push, Lacey was introduced as a reporter for KFOR and Ferris was introduced as the owner/champion/voice of The Spy. I took my cue and said "I'm Elizabeth, and I'm not on TV or the radio." This was my adorably self deprecating way of introducing myself, because let's be honest, I felt like my intro was going to be "...and this is Elizabeth." (Read between the lines: Groupie) Todd, being the darling that he is, went on to give a flattering rundown of my work at DOKC.

Comparison. It's what I do.

I'll never forget the time, after a meeting, that I looked at my boss and said, "I finally see what you've been telling me for almost 8 months... not everyone can do my job. It does take a special skill set." The lightbulb had gone off. I gave myself permission, for a couple of minutes, to think that I'm awesome, talented and a force to be reckoned with.

(Can I tell you how long I sat here and thought about deleting that last sentence?)

Push >> OKC was the first time I truly believed, "I belong here. I belong in this group of people. I'm helping to push Oklahoma City forward."

This is my (very) long-winded "thank you" to Todd for not only throwing a great party, but for helping me see my place in this awesome community that we have!

Okay... now for the best part, the pics:

Todd and Lacey... with an awesome photobomb by Chris 

Don't even get me started on the level of multi-talented-ness that man possesses... 

Yes, multi-talented-ness totally a word.

Tomorrow's post is going to be full of all kinds of love and sappiness - it's the recap of my sweet JP's wedding! xoxo, E